I told him. It was hard, but I did it. Things have been weird since. I have no idea how he feels but I feel like something he stepped in. I have spent nearly every minute since I told him feeling horrible and worrying about his reactions. He's still calling but he's acting a bit off. I just want to fall off the map and hope he'll still be around when I recover from how mortified I am that he knows.
He is a little different. It's not in my head. But maybe it's not nearly as bad as I think it is. I just want some confirmation that things haven't changed for him. I just don't think I can live this down, I fear I will act kooky in front of him. This really sucks, things were going so well. I was starting to fall for him and he was being sooo fantastic. It sucks, did I mention that?
On a brighter note I went out with dad and we took a journey for me to see things I hadn't see in a bit and to work me into getting my license renewed. I was thrilled to be out and facing it. I had a little panic attack when we went into a neighborhood short cut and he mentioned that he wasn't sure where he was and that he didn't remember the short cut through but I breathed and it sucked for about 1 minute and then I began to calm back down to a 4. It was a great thing overall and we plan to do it three times a week until I reach my goal.
If I've learned nothing else in this life, it's the lengths one will go to for someone they love. I also know for sure that those who love you will always protect you.
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